“Jazz was like a brother to me. Ever since we were kids he was already a little brother to me and he looks up to me as his big brother. When he’s out of the house, I always make sure I’m right beside him… to protect him as any brother would do,” Stephen then turned his back on me. “He was so close to me that it scares me to know if he gets hurt. He never kept secrets from me.”
I was too stunned that I can barely move from where I stood. That’s the reason why he knew all of these, I thought.
“When they moved in this place years ago, I felt sad because I wouldn’t be there for him anymore. I was worried that someone or something might hurt him, and I won’t be there to protect him,” he paused. He looked at me. I saw nothing but sadness. “When he told me about this girl he met around the neighborhood, he was very ecstatic and I was happy for him.
When Jazz was a kid, he used to be bullied by neighborhood kids all the time and I had to be there for him, but when I heard about you, everything seemed to change.
When he tells me stories about you, he seemed to be delightful… colorful… and he can’t contain himself. He was very excited to see you all the time.”
“How come I didn’t know anything about you? Why didn’t he mention anything about you?” finally, words came out of my mouth.
“He didn’t have too. He was too occupied of the things that he wants to do with you. My family migrated to another country when Jazz’s family moved in to your neighborhood. I asked him not to tell you anything about me because I want to know you personally.
When I found out about the accident, I was devastated. I wanted to kill that irresponsible driver who took Jazz’s life. I found out about the driver’s drunkenness and it tore my heart apart. The driver died two weeks after, yet I know it wouldn’t bring back Jazz’s life.”
“B-b-but why weren’t you there at the funeral? If you were really close to him, why weren’t you there at the burial?” I stuttered.
“Because I refused to accept his death! I was reluctant about everything. It was hard for me because he was brother. He was the only brother I had and losing him was the hardest part of it.
I was depressed as much as you were. I blamed myself for not being there for him. It took me years to accept his fate… but it wasn’t easy letting him go.
It was like losing a real brother, you know. Daddy Fred sent me letters that Jazz wrote himself. Those letters were addressed to me but he didn’t send it because he wanted to hand it to me and tell me how proud he was for having you.
As I’ve read those letters, I came to know more about you and how he loved you. You made him feel important, and for that I was happy for him. You gave him reasons to survive. He never told you he had seizure and he’d been taking Depakote for it.
He told me that having you in his life is better than medicating himself with Depakote. You were the most miraculous drug he’d ever had… and if he’d lose you, it would be like withdrawing himself from taking that medication. He loves you so much and that mattered to him.”
“And what does it have to do with you?” I asked him.
“He wants me to take care of you,” he quickly answered.
…to be continued
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