Saturday, November 13, 2010

Questions of Love

Dear Pink Diary,

Hello! Please call me Pretty Miley C. I have a heart problem.

I had a boyfriend. We'd been together for a month. On November 2, he went to his friend's house. It was already morning when he got home. On November 3, he called me around 2PM. We talked. It was a smooth talk. After awhile, he said he would take a shower because he'd go to his cousin to a certain school. After that, he didn't call nor text messaged me, and he wouldn't reply to my messages nor answer my calls. Around 10PM, he text messaged me. He said his grandmother asked him a favor to fetch his ex-girlfriend at the airport. They were together for 5 years. She arrived from UK. That was the "reason" why he wasn't able to go with his cousin. Right after, they went out for dinner - him, his granny, and his ex.

He said his granny want them back together, so I asked what his reaction was. He said he was surprised and speechless. As he mentioned, it was hard for him to refuse his granny's request since they're living under his granny's roof. He said he was having a hard time. Also, the girl wants the same thing.

The girl has plans of staying here in Cebu (Philippines) for a month and his granny wants him to accompany the girl while she's here. He told me he doesn't love the girl anymore and doesn't have any plans of getting back with her, but I had a hard time believing him considering the longevity of their relationship and the reason of their breakup. They only broke up because the girl had to migrate to UK. For me, there's really a huge possibility that he's still in love with her.

The next day, November 4, they went to Imperial Palace (a well-known hotel and resort here in Cebu). They would stay there for 3 days. It was the girl's treat. With them were his grandmother and his cousins. Since his grandma and cousins would only stay during daytime, the only people left there during nighttime were him and the girl. I asked him why he wouldn't go home. He said he need to accompany the girl.

While in the hotel, he said he wouldn't be able to text message me much because he's hiding his phone from his grandma. She might confiscate it, so he'd text message me whenever he's in the bathroom or if he's alone, but I sometimes find this confusing because sometimes, he text message me like everything was normal. When I talk about us, he would tell me he had to go because he was just in the comfort room. He was kind of avoiding the issue. Sometimes, he would just answer me with "I don't know". It was totally confusing me.

I told him that no matter what would happen, he had to find ways for us to meet on November 6 because it's our monthsarry. He just told me he would try, but I felt it was effortless. For three days, he never tried calling me while he's in the hotel. That's when I started doubting him.

When our monthsarry came, I never got the chance to meet him at all. After that, November 7, their group (a group of bikers) had a ride and would go somewhere. Their meeting place was just near my workplace, so I went there for awhile. He arrived late. I wasn't expecting that he would go there, so I was surprised to see him. It also surprised him to see me there. We got the chance to talk, but his treatment was kind of cold. He told me a lot of things. Our conversation ended and we were cool with each other, although, I already had a couple of doubts on him. After that, I had never heard of him.

The following day, we were text messaging. I asked him if he could go to our place. He borrowed cash from me and I wished to get it. He told me he'd give it to me and asked me if he could bring the girl along. I asked him if they got back together. He said he doesn't know and told me that that's what the girl believed in - that they were together again. So I told him he doesn't have his principles because he couldn't make his own decisions. He didn't comment on that. I told him to bring the girl so I would get to know her.

I asked if he still loves her and if he wants her back. He answered "no". I asked him if he loves me, and he said yes, but with everything he showed me, I thought otherwise. I can't feel his love. I decide to call it off. I broke up with him. We had to stop right there and then so that he could focus on one thing - the girl. I know I'd end up helpless if I'd continue fighting for it. I have done so much for our relationship. I did my part, yet it appeared that I was the only one fighting for it. Of all the things I told him, he only replied with, THANKS A LOT. It was very disheartening.

Later that day, he went to our house, but the girl wasn't with him. We talked about our situation. We talked about us after the breakup, but he changed the topic. He talked about their group ride and stuff. He said he was with her when they had their ride because his grandma won't allow him to hangout if the girl is not with him, but I had proven this to be untrue since his co-rider's wife was my friend. I asked my friend if those things were true, but she said it weren't, that he was alone during their group ride.

Right after our conversation, I cried a lot. Like a lot! I talked to some of my friends and I was crying like there's no tomorrow. It was very painful. He told me different lies. I even asked my friend to text message him, and he bit the bait. He replied to her text messages, yet he didn't reply to any of my messages at all. It was very disheartening.

I had no intentions of breaking up with him, but it hurts so much. Please help me.

Always,
Pretty Miley C

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