“It wasn’t so easy,” I spoke. Stephen remained silent. Tears began to fell from my eyes. I looked at him with so much hurt. “Do you have any idea how painful it was? I thought I’d may not be able to live again… not without him.”
“But you did,” he finally said.
“Yes, I did! I did! But it wasn’t like before anymore! It wasn’t like living my life with him. I was able to survive, but it seemed like I was already dead!”
He lowered his face. I saw guilt in his expression. Somehow, I felt sorry for him, but I was more sorry of myself… for the pain that I was feeling… for the hurt that I kept inside for years… yet, a stranger – a total stranger - I just met in a bar awakened the hurt that was caused by a painful past.
“It took me years to forget about everything. Years! and it wasn’t easy! It was never easy at all!”
“I’m sorry,” I heard him say.
“For years, I’ve kept this hurt inside me… because I want everyone to see that I’m okay… that I’ve moved on.”
He looked me with weariness.
“That night, when he took me to this place, I felt a little guilt because it was our anniversary, yet I forgot that it was. Jazz reminded me of it, and he didn’t even ask for anything in return.” I cried after remembering that frightful night.
“He just wanna love me. He didn’t know he was already loving me unconditionally. He loved me so much he forgot to love himself,” I bowed my head down to hide the misery in my eyes. It was a complete torture.
“When we were at the hospital and found out about our fortune, I wanted to run to him and tell him everything’s gonna be fine and show him how much I really love him and that he should live for me. I wanted to tell him a lot of things. I was so easy on him. I felt like I loved him less. I was so insensitive.”
I covered my face with both hands. I suddenly felt him drawing me close to him. He hugged me. I cried on his chest while he brushed my hair with his hands.
“Hush, now. I’m here. I’ll be here and I’ll protect you.”
…to be continued
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