I had been thinking about what Stephen had told me in the supermarket. For the first time, he told me he loved me. It felt good to know what he thinks of me, but at the same time I felt bad because it was too late for everything.
I must admit, I felt great when I found out that he loves me, too, but it wasn’t just right for us anymore, especially now that he’s about to marry Reese. I guess I’m still in love with him, which would be unfair to Aaron. The thing between me and Aaron has to end. I could never love Aaron again, not in a way that he loves me.
I wrote a letter for Aaron.
Aaron,
I know that your intentions to me are good. Somehow, we’ve known each other for years. We’d been together for years when we were in college. That thing in the past is still here in me and will forever be remembered.
But what we have right now is not right. I know how important I am to you and I thank you for that, but it kills me everyday to know that I am being unfair to you. As you try to love me in your own way, I’ve been trying to give you the same amount of love, yet I cannot fulfill it in any way.
Aaron, I tried but I failed. Somehow, there’s a part of me that longs for something or someone that I’ve been wanting for so long. You matter to me, but that wouldn’t be enough to fill whatever there is that needs to be filled. I am sorry. I can’t love you.
Tears fell from my eyes. I felt guilt for not showing Aaron the amount of love he deserves. He deserves someone else, and it will come in time.
After I wrote the letter. I packed all of my important stuff inside my bag. I need to get away from this messy place. I know I’ll be back in time, but not now. I need to stay away from Stephen, from Aaron, from Reese, from everyone. I need to get out of my comfort zone and try to start another chapter of my life from a different place. I need to get out of this town as soon as possible.
When I have already packed everything, I called Isabelle to ask her to take care of everything related to the business. I know I should be available on the night of the fashion show, but I can’t wait for a week anymore.
“Hello?” it was Isabelle.
“Hi, Isabelle. It’s Nikki. I’m sorry but I won’t be around for a couple of days starting tomorrow. No, not days, weeks, or maybe months.”
“What are you talking about? The fashion show is due next week. You’re kidding right?”
“No, I’m not. Look, I know that the fashion show is due next week, but I really have to travel. I know you can take care of everything. I believe in you so much. I wouldn’t put you in such position if I know you couldn’t make it.”
“Is there something wrong, Nick?” she asked.
“There is nothing wrong, Isabelle. I know everything was so sudden, but I just have to go some place,” I said.
“Some place where?”
“I wish I could tell you but I can’t. Don’t worry I’ll be back as soon as I can. Just think of it as my indefinite leave. I’ll be communicating with you constantly regarding business matters. For now, I’ll let you handle everything. I’m giving you the authority. I will call everyone about your appointment.”
“Okay,” she sighed. “Whatever you wish princess. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you Isabelle. You are a great friend.”
“No problem.”
“Thank you. Goodbye,” then I hung up. The next I did, I called Christina and instructed her a few things. I told her she has to work for Isabelle as Isabelle’s second secretary while I’m away. I can’t afford to have Christina lose her job. She has to keep it since she deserves it. I didn’t tell her the reason why I will be gone for a long time and where will I be going.
I rechecked the things I’m going to bring and then called The Parallel Suites management to let them know that I’m going to be away for quite a while. I explained to them that I’d pay my rent in advance and they were fine with it.
After getting ready, I went out of my place. I left the letter for Aaron at the reception area and left for the airport.
I’m going to miss this place but I have to leave. I guess, I’ll be fine staying in Venice for a year.
…to be continued
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